Minus Y2K

By Kapil Bhargava

The Y2K (Year 2000 AD) came in with a bang and went out with a whimper. If you were using computers at that time, you would remember the fear and panic Y2K caused all over the world. It was believed that the end of civilisation would occur at the stroke of midnight after 31 December 1999 the moment the date switched to 2000. Everything was so dependent on computers that nothing would work after that instant. A suggested solution to call up any old pre-Y2K data was to fool the computer by telling it that it was still 1999. Educational authorities in the UK should have thought of this simple solution. They told their computers that 00 meant 2000 AD. Result: they invited a 102-year-old woman to come and attend nursery classes. Suddenly their computers did not recognise 00 as 1900. In reality, Y2K proved to be a big yawn. But wait, Minus Y2K is something else.

Lord Rama came back to Ayodhya after defeating Ravana and taking possession of his aeroplane called the Pushpak Vimana as a war trophy. If we had the technology of flying more than 5,000 years ago and Mahabharata was fought with fantastic weapons, Egyptians must have developed even more advanced technologies some years later. Modern scientists can’t explain how the pyramids were built. The Great Pyramid of Cheops is aligned with true North within one fifth of a degree. No magnetic compass can do this for you The Ancient Egyptians obviously had very powerful computers and other technological marvels. The Minus Y2K theory, propounded by a freethinking American, Jeff Lindsay, can explain why their civilisation perished.

Minus Y2K means 2000 years earlier.than any date of importance. One such date occurred when the Prophet had to shift to Medina. It is from the emigration to Medina that the Muslim Hegira calendar began. Minus Y2K from this epochal event becomes 1378 BC. The plagues mentioned in the Bible were brought upon Egypt by Moses in that year. He was obviously the greatest computer hacker of all time. He brought the ten plagues on Ancient Egypt as terrible viruses and ruined all their hardware and software. Today’s hackers are no match to his abilities.

The full definition of all these viruses is not possible here. Simple explanations will have to suffice. Egypt’s waters ran red, as the ketchup factories’ computers could not recognise Minus 1999. They figured that the tomatoes were 100 years old and refused to process them. These were dumped into the Nile turning it blood red, just like in Bollywood movies.

The organic wastes dumped into the Nile killed the predators of the tadpoles causing the plague of the frogs. The dead fish on the banks of the river were food for the beetles to follow. The flies came from similar causes. Milk production stopped because of the Minus 1999 errors in the dairy computers. Instead of a positive flow of milk the pumps tried to put it back into the cows. Due to Minus Y2K, Egyptian computers could not predict the weather correctly and announced a huge swing in temperatures. The evening TV newsreaders said it sounded like “hail and fire”. The locusts emerged from mutations after the dumping of nuclear wastewater into the fields. Millions of giant locusts ate up all the Egyptian crops. The “darkness’ resulted from a shutdown of power stations which were not compliant with Minus Y2K. The final plague symbolised by the imprint of a hand in blood was to show who had paid their income tax and who had not.

The Pharaoh asked Moses to lead his people out of Egypt, if only he would please stop the viruses on Egypt’s PCs. But, the damage was done. Ancient Egypt never regained its technological excellence.